Oh, Hi.

So, it's just come to my attention that, aside from Soundtrack Sunday and my Liebster Award post, I haven't really posted anything lately.

So, January was a little rough.

I caught the Stomach Flu of Doom. I don't get sick. Okay, apparently, I do get sick, but it's rarely bad enough to stop me from going to work, or even bad enough to slow me down. I think the last time I got sick before that was like five years ago.

So, I'm not a germophobe. I taught preschool for several years, and now I work in a retail setting, handling tons of cash. If you've ever worked with money, you know that it's gross. It smells bad, tons of people have touched it, and at the end of my shifts, my hands have a layer of grime on them. I use hand sanitizer occasionally, and I wash my hands fairly regularly, but other than that, I'm not worried about it. Once you've taught preschool and then spent five years being around every kind of germ imaginable (by the way, if you're sick, please don't go grocery shopping), your immune system is generally a rock star.

But this one got me. I woke up one morning and my stomach hurt. It wasn't horrible, and since my job involves being at work at 5 AM, I didn't even think about trying to call one of the two other people trained to cover me. Just a stomach ache.

Wrong.

I survived two hours. And an hour and forty-five minutes of that was in the bathroom, wishing for death.

The good news is that I did finally get enough work done to leave, once I'd called a replacement. And I survived the 30-minute drive home without shitting myself.

So, to keep a long and disgusting story short and relatively clean, I'll tell you this: I spent one full day peeing out my ass, sleeping, and drinking blue Gatorade (and, by the way, I HATE Gatorade, if that gives you any idea of how dire the situation was). That first day, BoyWonder kept trying to feed me. Chicken noodle soup with mashed potatoes. And then just mashed potatoes. And then, finally, I managed about three gulps of plain chicken broth. I also asked him (not so nicely) to stop trying to feed me and just let me die.

I called in the next day. I was too dehydrated to function--I was in bad enough shape that somehow, all my veins were visible through my skin. Well, maybe not all of them, but definitely enough that I was a little concerned that I might actually die.

During all of this, Kitty had to have surgery. BoyWonder took her to the vet on the first day I had the Bug. We were supposed to go together, because BoyWonder has a tendency to not remember anything a medical professional says. But, since I was about to die, he went by himself. So, he takes her in because she's had these nasty sores on her shoulders that haven't healed, and were growing.

The vet tells him it's tumors, and we can have them removed the next day. Fine. However, instead of just leaving her there, he brings her home, thinking his mom will help us out by picking her up in the morning and taking her out there. (Quick backstory: BoyWonder has a slightly unhealthy attachment to Kitty. He brought her home that night because he didn't want her to be alone and afraid all night, and thus would rather inconvenience someone else for his own sense of comfort.)

Well, his mom flipped out when he called to ask her about taking Kitty for us. Going on and on about how we always ask for help, and we need to take care of ourselves, and all this other crazy ranting that I think should probably have been directed at her other children. (BoyWonder's older siblings actually receive regular financial support from their parents--they pay rent and car payments for them, plus free childcare and school lunches for the Nephew.)

So guess who got to take Kitty in for surgery? Naturally, the person who is dying of the stomach flu.

Good times.

The icing on the cake? When I got in there to pick up my cat, my mother-in-law had called in for some medication for her cats, for me to pick up. You know, since I was already there.

I'm still really, really mad about that, but I was a nice daughter-in-law and did not flip the bitch switch on her when she showed up to get her stupid flea treatment and whatever else she got.

So... Yeah. My poor Kitty has three different bald spots now, with some wicked stitches that are being removed today.

I guess the only tiny bonus to the whole situation (aside from a tumor-free cat), is that I lost five pounds. Granted, it was all from my intestines, but still. I'm sure it needed to go.

And then... BoyWonder's birthday. We didn't do much, because I'm poor now, but I got him some beer, and a giant stuffed cupcake from Fresh Market. I did buy him something for his gun, but it's not here yet, so I don't have a picture.

Cupcakes and beer: every man's dream? Maybe not. But he seemed happy enough about it. 

Other than all that, things are pretty calm around here. We're waiting patiently on our tax return and BoyWonder's bonus to come in so we can pay off his car and (hopefully) go back to the RE to start doing medicated  IUI cycles again. 

Right now, the plan is to only do three of them. If they don't work, we're taking a long break from 'family building.' Not that we'll ever prevent, because that would be a waste of effort and money, but after three years (and yeah, today is my three-year mark), I'm tired of trying. And hoping. And trying to remain optimistic. I don't think those things will ever really go away, but I can't keep living my life in a world of 'what-ifs' and 'maybe we'll have a baby by thens'. 

I started filling out my financial aid application, so I can go back to school in August. I keep saying I'm going to stop doing the whole "unless I get pregnant" thing, but this is the one time where it fits--if we end up pregnant, going back to school will be delayed just a little bit. And if not, I'll be able to bury my head in schoolwork and focus on that, and on getting healthier. 

It's nice to have other things going on. I love the idea of becoming a midwife someday. And if I end up without biological children, I may shift that goal to being a NICU nurse, or go on to get a higher degree in therapeutic nutrition or natural medicine. Either way, it's nice to have some idea of the general direction I'm moving in, and at least know my first two (giant) steps--first, the nursing program at the community college. Then, a transfer to a bigger university for a BSN. I'm excited about this. 

Lately, it's been the only thing keeping me moving forward.