I have to admit I was terrified going into surgery. I cried when BoyWonder left the pre-op area. I almost had a panic attack as they were wheeling me back to the operating room.
And then I woke up feeling like someone hit me repeatedly in the spine with a sledgehammer.
The first couple of days I couldn't move very well. I laid in bed. I read two books in two days. Big, 800-page books. After that, things started getting better. I think somewhere around day four I was able to get out of bed on my own. Now, two weeks later, I can be up walking around for thirty minutes or so before I start to hurt.
It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm already moving around more than I expected.
And now, I'm beginning to dread going back to work.
It's been really nice to get up when BoyWonder leaves for work and read for an hour or so, drinking coffee until I'm ready to get up and get things done. I can do some housework now, so I've been trying to get that done before noon every day.
And I'm starting to look at some different jobs I might like.
I really want to write. Even if it's some crappy tech writing job, typing out instruction manuals or job descriptions, with some freelance work on the side. I like writing. I like words, in general, and it's something I've been lucky enough to be blessed with.
I have no idea how to go about finding a job in that field, though. While I'm reasonably sure I could do some freelance work here and there, I lack the discipline to have a good starting-point when I'm working a full-time job that doesn't have regular hours and regular days off. Most of the writing jobs I see posted online seem like scams to me, and I'm afraid to take that kind of leap right now, with all these medical bills hanging over my head.
My best work friends, J and A, are leaving soon. A has a job interview Friday. I'm happy for her, and really want her to be happy (which is impossible when you work a shit job, with supervisors who don't appreciate you), but at the same time, she's my friend. She's amazing, and will be impossible to replace. J is leaving when school starts in the fall. And it's the same thing. He's awesome, intelligent, reliable help, with the added bonus that he has similar taste in music, and reminds me very much of BoyWonder when he was younger. Also very difficult to replace.
So it's time to devise an escape plan.
I had hoped that I would get pregnant, which would at least put a light at the end of the tunnel... But that's kind of off the table until my spine is healed, and we still don't know if BoyWonder's surgery was successful or not. And we won't know until August.
The job-hunt will commence shortly. At this point, I'd take just about anything that has a regular, set schedule, so long as it pays enough for me to cover my bills. That isn't very much, either. Well, not once I get my surgery paid off.
So, maybe expect to see me posting daily. I'd like to post at least once a day for a while. BoyWonder met someone who works at NakedCity, and I'm hoping maybe that could turn into a nice contact to have, if I ever write something worth possibly being put in a magazine... Even if it's a free magazine.
For now, though, I think I'm going to walk my backyard again, and maybe browse around pinterest. Because, you know. I'm an addict.
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