16

Day 16: Someone who inspires you.It's Chad.

Not because he killed himself. Nothing like that at all.

Since my back has been out, I've been remembering him more often because, well, for about half my life his back was out. He was on disability, raising three kids on his own, and living with pain that is undoubtedly worse than mine.

The fact that he managed everything so well and was this amazing, intelligent, passionate person in spite of the fact that the universe almost seemed to be out to get him (and in his mind, sadly, it was out to get him).

He was the kind of person who would invite Jehovah's Witnesses into his house to have religious debates that would last hours. He's the only person I know who invited a Kirby (you know, the vacuums) salesperson into his house to prove the guy wrong, and was then so amazed that he bought one.

The normal, sane Chad inspires me to this day because he was part of a very large village that helped to raise me and my brothers, and many more of the children inside our strange circle of non-family family.

I still think of things to tell him about. The tomato I bought that had sprouted seeds inside it. The 'giant' columbine plant I bought as bare roots that got three inches tall, sprouted, and died.

He was the only person in the whole group I could talk politics with. It was always really funny because while he claimed to be a republican--and voted that way--his core beliefs were pretty democratic/libertarian. But he'd argue to the death for what it meant to be a republican. I miss that.

I miss the way life was when he was here. His suicide changed the way I look at everything, everyone. But the way he lived... It was good. He was good. That inspires me.