BoyWonder had varicocele repair microsurgery on Monday. According to the urologist the procedure was successful, but we won't really know until the end of July when he'll go back for a follow-up semen analysis.
He did not do well with the anesthesia. In fact, Monday will be forever remembered (by me, anyway) as the first time was vomited on by an adult. And he didn't heal quickly. Today is the first day he's been up and moving around normally... And of course, he decided to go to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to play with his band. I'm worried he won't get much rest, which is important for healing, but at the same time I'm glad to be rid of him for a day.
And then there is me. Ugh.
Last weekend I saw a naturopath, and am now in the process of switching out all the vitamins I had been taking to higher-quality ones, because I tested low in almost every vitamin and mineral I'm already taking. She also recommended superfoods, more fiber, and a vegetable protein shake, plus some liquid herbs which should arrive sometime next week.
That was an expensive venture. I'm hoping that it actually helps me feel human again, because otherwise it's a shit-ton of money down the drain. So far, I feel better than before, so I'm taking that as a good sign. I'll go back for a re-check at the end of the month, and hopefully I'll be showing some progress.
So, even though things seem like they're finally going to work out, we've hit another wall. We got a letter from the insurance company on Tuesday (the day after the surgery) letting us know that the surgery center we went to isn't in network, and offered us another option. The day after.
So... out-of-pocket max for in-network is $2000. Out of network, it's $6000.
Fuck. Fuckfuckshitfuckfuck.
Just a four thousand dollar oversight, right?
Right. So now BoyWonder has decided we'll stop TTC until the surgery is paid off and my back is fully healed. Part of me is upset, and part of me is relieved.
I know my back has to get better. I know that we can't afford prenatal care and payments on the surgery at the same time. I know we're going to have to bust our asses just to stay afloat until both issues are resolved.
At the same time, though, I'm so upset. (Ready for whining? Sorry.) Idiots everywhere can get pregnant and have kids in rapid succession and never have a single problem. We've struggled every.step.of.the.way, with no end in sight. By the time we have a baby, we will have been able, in theory, to have had at least two. Possibly three. And god help me, if this surgery doesn't work, if his sperm count is the same or worse, I will probably have an aneurysm. Or a stroke. Or a heart attack. Or maybe all three at once, with a side of nervous breakdown.
So for now, I'm focusing on the present. Get healthy, stop spending money, pay down all the bills. That's going to be my new mantra. Get healthy, stop spending money, pay down all the bills. Wash, rinse, repeat.
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