17

Day 17: Something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

So, this is my spine. I suppose 'recently' isn't the correct word at this point, but it's one of the biggest factors in everything I do now.

A quick recap:

In August, my back went out for the first time. Well, not the first time, but the first time it's been so bad that I wished for death. So I saw a chiropractor. First three times a week, then down to two, then once a week, and then once a month, until January. It was actually healed (or so I thought) for a few months--from October to January.

And then, just when I was ready to start exercising and losing weight is when this episode began.

It's been the longest three months of my life.

At first, I could barely drive. Lifting my legs to shift or use the gas or brake pedals would cause muscle spasms so hard I was afraid I'd wreck my car. I remember a few drives to or from work that involved me screaming (I'm not exaggerating here) the entire way. And everything I did caused pain. Sitting, standing, laying down, coughing, sneezing, laughing, even taking a deep breath hurt.

I've been in physical therapy for almost two full months now. I'm making progress, but it's very slow. I can drive without screaming. Sometimes I can sneeze or laugh pain-free. My range of motion is improving, but the physical therapists are concerned. One of the guys I work with regularly said I have the tightest hamstrings he's ever seen. The thing is, it's not muscular tension. It's neural tension. And I'm one of the youngest cases of a herniated disc they've seen.

What bothers me is that we don't really know yet that the disc is herniated. All the symptoms point to that, but I haven't had an MRI done yet, partially because it's not going to change what happens in physical therapy, and partly because with all the other medical expenses we've racked up in the last few months I've been afraid to add to the pile.

At this point, though, I'm ready to know for sure. What if something horrible is going on? I mean, if that disc is ruptured rather than herniated, physical therapy will only do so much. Then again, the next steps are pain management and surgery if necessary. Pain management in this case involves injections. I really, really don't want any needles in my spine. I go back to my MD in a few weeks, and will be referred for an MRI and probably an appointment with a specialist.

The upside of all this? Physical therapy has entailed lots and lots of ab, thigh, back, and butt exercises. So, when I finally feel better and gain control of my sugar addiction, I'll have some really nice muscles to show off. My abs, for example... If I can get rid of the padding, I am just about to the point of having abs of steel. I can hold a plank position for two and a half minutes.

Okay, so maybe I'm out of shape. But still. Two and a half minutes? That's a long freaking time for planks.