Healing

So what I have is a herniated disc, which happens to be affecting my sciatic nerve.

Today was my first day of physical therapy, and I'm feeling hopeful. My range of motion is very limited on my right side. Like, ten percent of my normal range. The good news is that, according to the physical therapist, these usually heal over time. I have exercises to do at home every day, and I'll have physical therapy two or three times a week until I'm better.

They're going to use traction, which essentially is spinal decompression. It looks like a torture device. It's two leather braces you get strapped into, which are then attached to a machine that pulls your hips, lengthening the spine so that the discs can eventually slip back into place.

I was too tight to use the machine today. The poor girl ended up doing the pulling with her own body weight. It was an odd sensation of pain and stretching, but I could see how it will help me once I can be hooked up to the machine.

That's a huge weight off my shoulders.

And there's more.

BoyWonder is having his surgery. The urologist finally called back to schedule it, and to let us know that insurance will likely cover most of the cost. We're still trying to get it scheduled, but just knowing that it's happening is an incredible feeling.

It means that in a little over a year, I could have a baby. This could really happen.

For now, I'm focusing on my health. I want to heal. I want my spine to get better. I want my ovaries to do what they are supposed to. I want to lose some weight. I have a plan, though. I'm going back to my roots.

I'm going to go back to meditating. I know, this sounds crazy, right? My mom actually taught me how to meditate when I was very, very young. I didn't know what it was, but she would sit beside me, before bedtime, and rub my back and walk me through imagery. Walking barefoot through soft grass, feeling the warmth of sunshine on my skin, feeling the wind blow... Things like that. That's something I still use to get myself to sleep sometimes. And I'm going back to it for other things.

I downloaded some guided meditation mp3's. Some are for health, some are for weight loss, some for fertility, and some are just relaxation tracks. I'm going to do my best to work this into my routine. Along with the barrage of vitamins and supplements and herbal teas and diet concoctions, of course.

Just knowing that things are going to work out has given me new energy to keep going. Now if I can just stay on this track for the next several months...