The Hunt (and the Wait).

In light of all my health-related issues, I've been thinking of questions I need to ask. Now, this isn't just since I've been to the dentist.

I haven't talked much about my mom lately.

She was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. All this came about because her doctor noticed she had TMJ and referred her to the dentist (the same ones I'm seeing). The dentists are the ones who suggested it, and the doctor confirmed.

So now I'm wondering if I have it. I know it's not good to try to diagnose yourself. But I have almost all the symptoms. Mine are nowhere near the severity of Mom's, but I'm younger and don't have the stress that she does. But the joint pain? Got it. The exhaustion, even after performing fairly minimal tasks? Got it. The general achiness? It's there, too. And some of this has always been there. I remember my hands throbbing in pain after band class (I was a flute player), just from holding the keys down. I've always hated running because it feels like my whole body is going to rattle apart. BoyWonder can't sleep with his arm around me or his leg thrown over me because it feels like he's pulling my skeleton apart, and BoyWonder is not a large man. I mean, he's heavier than I am, but he's not big enough for just the weight of his arm to hurt someone.

But in all my trips to the chiropractor, these things haven't come up yet. I think after seeing the dentist for my TMJ it might. And I need a new family doctor. This is tricky because I don't trust doctors in general. And I don't want to rack up more medical bills right now.

So, all this waits. Until I'm cleared from the chiropractor, and have some of the dental work paid for, I just don't really have a family doctor. I'm okay with that for now. But eventually I will care. Eventually I will need help with a diagnosis because this shit is not normal or okay. I'm too young to feel like an eighty-year-old most of the time. Too young to have every joint in my body pop and crack and ache. Too young to be too tired to go out and socialize after work (I mean, COME ON, my job isn't that physically taxing).

So I wait.

This is the week of waiting, on many fronts.

By the way, the other waiting hasn't been so bad this month. I was afraid I'd be freaking out with no chart to look at, but I'm really not. And with any luck at all, it'll be my month.

So with that, I'm back to my waiting.