Oops.

In my last post, I talked about Jack's MSPI (Milk and soy protein intolerance. I know, I need to add it to the sidebar). And, I think I vented a little bit about how freaking hard it is to keep up with feeding myself while I'm trying to keep a small human alive, plus keep my house from falling down around me. 

So. Last Friday I caved and had BoyWonder order some Chinese food. My thought was that, aside from the butter incident around Christmas, I haven't had any dairy, and there's a chance that Jack can handle soy, and maybe we'd test it out and see what happened. 

And then, MIL offered to babysit for a few hours on Saturday, and we ended up at a restaurant, because holy-crap-we're-finally-out-of-the-house-without-the-baby. I ordered jambalaya because pretty much every recipe I've ever looked at has been at least free of dairy. But then I checked their allergen information after the fact, and this particular restaurant's jambalaya contains dairy and soy. So... Shit. 

So, Sunday he was a little fussier than usual, but that could have been anything. Yesterday was... rough. He started having the "I'm in pain" cries, back arching, bloating, you name it. And today? The rash I'd just gotten rid of is completely covering his torso and inching down his limbs. 

Today, I feel like a terrible freaking parent. 

But I'm regrouping. I actually managed to plan out meals for every day this week, and somehow managed to make it out of the store on Sunday with all of the necessary ingredients for said meal plans. So far, both of the dinners I've made are things BoyWonder said he'd eat again, so I'm adding them to the master list. 

So, this sucks, but I'm slowly working the kinks out of the system. Shopping is tough, because every single brand is different and it's easy to just assume that what's safe in one brand is safe across the board. That's false. Saltine crackers, for instance. BoyWonder grabbed some from the Dollar General that were dairy and soy free, but when I went to grab another box at a different store, every single brand had some form of milk in them. Same goes for things like spaghetti sauce, canned vegetables (luckily most of the veggies I eat are either fresh or frozen), lunch meat, and even seasonings. And, to make things even more complicated, some items list 'vegetable oil' as an ingredient, and then in parentheses list off about six different vegetables--including soy--that might be included in said oil. 

Ugh. 

Basically, I have two options available to me. I can either memorize and make a detailed list for BoyWonder (because right now, he does the bulk of the dry-grocery shopping) of what brands are safe and which stores carry them, or I can attempt to make all my food myself. 

I don't know what the right answer is at this point. I guess it's whatever works, but I hate stumbling blindly through this. 

It's going to get easier, I think. In February I'm going to do an elimination diet, because I feel like there's something else bothering him aside from the dairy and soy. (I'd do it earlier, but it's intense and I need a little bit of time to feel really prepared.) Basically, my plan is to cut out the top eight food allergens (dairy, soy, eggs, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, corn, and shellfish), plus citrus, nightshades, and maybe beans/legumes. Yeah. All of that. For four weeks. And then, assuming all his symptoms are cleared up, I'll reintroduce things one at a time. 

And yes, I realize this sounds insane. And hard. A month without tomatoes? And eggs? 

I just don't know what else to do, and it kills me that he's hurting because of crap I ate. 

And yeah, I could give up on breastfeeding, I guess, but even the formula they recommend for MSPI babies still has milk protein (and a ton of other 'stuff') in it. Also? It's like FORTY DOLLARS PER CAN. That's insane. Or, I could push to see a pediatric gastroenterologist (because the biggest symptoms are intestinal), where they might want to do a colon biopsy on my tiny sweet baby. Not that I'm 100% against medical intervention, but I'm definitely going to try some less invasive things first. 

So, I'm preparing myself. Spending a ton of time researching and hoarding recipes on Pinterest and trying really, really hard to start weaning myself off some of my favorite foods now, so it's not such a shock. 

I don't know if I'm going overboard or not, and no one seems to be able to tell me one way or the other. Is this crazy? Maybe. Probably. I just keep telling myself it's worth it. He's worth it (and he'd better take good, good care of me when I'm old).