Calm.

That's been my general mood for the last week. It's almost unnerving.

This is maybe the first cycle ever that I feel like we did everything we possibly could, and now we're just waiting to see what happened. I haven't even been stalking the Fertility Friend chart galleries this month (well, not yet, anyway).

This is my third week of really starting over on the 'getting healthy' plan. Working out is finally starting to feel like it's necessary--my legs ache if I go more than a day without being on the elliptical. And I feel so much better after I work out that it seems silly not to. And I'm tracking my food again. Food is the part I struggle with--I love food. I've had to find low-calorie, nutrient dense food so I can eat without feeling deprived.

The thing I like about healthy eating is that I actually focus more on what everything is going to taste like. I can make a killer salad. Or a salad wrap, for that matter. And it tastes a million times better to me than any fast-food or processed food.

And I think the new healthier lifestyle is contributing to my sense of calm. I'm doing everything for my body that I should be. Which means that if there is a tiny phantom baby in there, I'm doing really great things for him/her, too.


I'm still waiting on my transfer, too. My manager is still dragging it out. We got my position filled (my friend A got the job--more on that in a second), but now they're keeping me until her position is filled. I'm hoping that happens quickly, though--A has done three job interviews and one of the places called her back. They're running her background screenings (she's a criminal justice major and has been applying at detention facilities), and they'll be calling her back by the end of next week to set up a shadow session. If that goes well, she's got the job.

She's been awesome about not telling anyone that she's been interviewing, so that I can leave. I'm terrified she's going to get the job offer and then I'm going to be stuck for even longer. For now, though, I'm trying not to focus on that too much. I'm going to get out. It's going to be awesome.

And if I'm lucky, I'll be pregnant when I go. :)